When Gina first came to work with me, she had been tired and stressed since she started her new job years ago. Her libido has been diminishing ever since and she is now feeling depressed. She wants a more fulfilling life, but all she can see are her defects; her relationship with her man is not going well. She does not have the courage to ask for what she wants, nor does she know enough about her body to know what to ask for.
Gina did not value herself enough to make her own pleasure a priority – something I see in many of the women who come to me for coaching.
“Why should I go to the trouble of learning Tantric techniques if my husband is happy with the way things are?” Gina told me. She has satisfaction in her work, and she is happy that her husband and she do not fight, as many of her married friends often do.
Working together with me, Gina realized that at the base of all her self-judgement and lack of knowledge about what she needed in her relationship was the belief that she was not worthy of love.
Unfortunately, Gina’s challenges are not unique. Too many women have bought into the myth that they are responsible for keeping the peace in the family (even at the expense of honesty) and place their own pleasure way down at the end of the to-do list.
Gina also felt shame for having sexual feelings when she was a teenager, shame that was transmitted to her by her mother who was horrified at the thought that her daughter would become pregnant. Where there is shame about parts of your body, especially the genitals, one does not dare to look at them. Some women do not even have a name for their genitals. They call it “my down there”. No wonder they struggle to expand their sexual pleasure.
I remember my mother telling me that restrictions around sexuality were stricter when she grew up and women were punished for breaking the rules. A woman who is abused sexually is often thought of condemned and shunt in the village. Such a woman often treats herself worse that the people who are condemning her. She does not know and it’s not told that it’s not her shame. It’s the shame of the abuser that she absorbed during the rape or inappropriate touch. Instead of feeling his own shame for what he’s doing, he projects the shame unto his victim. She unconsciously takes that in. She then feels she does not deserve to have pleasure in life. She condemns herself to overworking to her shame.
It is time to wake up and honor your femininity, your ability to nurture and care. As women, we take care of the upkeep of our home, give birth and nurture the children, and now increasingly work in professions to contribute financially or even supports the household. Women are strong and powerful.
The Goddess is Our Core Self. We are the Goddess. It’s time to identify with her instead of letting the constant feeling of shame diminish your amazing, incredible tenderness and power. Do not be afraid to embrace Her. She is powerful, but compassionate. She will never betray you.
In my upcoming workshop Awaken Your Inner Goddess, we will be doing powerful work to embrace the shadow side the parts of you that you are ashamed of or do not feel are good enough. The shadow can also hide in the unconscious, which has to be coaxed to the surface before it can be transmuted into self-love and step into your Inner Goddess to feel her raw, awesome energy.
Your Inner Goddess demands respect, but it’s compassionate and generous. Let your Inner Goddess whisper to you words of love and appreciation for taking on the Female Body.
This is what we will be doing together:
- Look at where do you deserve more respect in your life?
- Discover your shadow side.
- Techniques to transform the shadow into light, or Goddess energy.
- Discover the waves of the Goddess’ inner energy.
- Find your personal Goddess and share her qualities with other Goddesses
- Visualize that you are embodying Her, speaking and behaving as She does.
- Imagine your potential after having embodied your personal Goddess?
This is the perfect time to embody your Inner Goddess and then reach out to other Goddesses to create supportive Goddess communities to empower each other’s visions. When we are together, the power that we have becomes exponential.
Want to know more about Awaken Your Inner Goddess? Join me in NYC on Friday June 1st for a transformative evening!