Many couples, after a few years of “being in love” start creating patterns that slowly lead their sexual expression to the road to boredom.
During the “in-love” period you are carried to high spaces of sexual engagement by the endorphins that tend to flow in abundance when the experience is still new.
But, as you age and the relationship develops, happy hormones that nature gifted you with during the “in love period” are now flowing more slowly. Smart couples take this reality as an invitation to make the commitment to joyfully continue to get to know your partner on a deeper and more expanded level. You will find so many treasures you would never expect. These discoveries are very bonding.
Because of our human tendency to create habits that keep us in the comfort zone, we are missing out on the excitement that newness brings.
Couples who do not want to fall into the abyss of boredom seem to enjoy creating situations that give birth to new experiences that take you out of your comfort zone. The new experience could start in your imagination and then you slowly can plan to make it a reality.
You could start imagining sexy scenes that deep down you would never allow yourself to acknowledge you have because they might be considered too out there. Proposing those to your partner might bring up fears that you will be judged as weird and perhaps rejected. However, overcoming fear is always sexy; any time you dare to do something new you feel more alive, more open and stronger.
Tantra gives couples permission to higher pleasure by deepening the way you connect with each other with different breaths, sounds, and an amazing number of new positions.
Newness can also come from revealing something difficult to express that you were afraid to say. Intimacy means “into-me-see”. Allowing yourself to be seen fully as you are in each moment, and for your partner to be an open space to see the fullness of you in that moment.
Those moments are always available. Take turns to create them and to share them.
Want more? Join me in NYC for my Couples Intensive workshop on October 27th
In this Couples Intensive workshop, we will look at new different angles and I will guide you to step into more pleasure and deeper intimacy. Other couples who have taken my couples’ workshops have shared that they never would have expected to go so deep so soon in risking to be fully themselves.
Shame and guilt, both battling with pleasure to keeping it at least under control, seem to disappear following the tantric guidance given in the Couples Intensive workshop.
Meryn Newberg says: “My husband wanted me to go, but I was afraid of feeling ashamed, making a fool of myself. I went to the workshop to please him. I was surprised that I pleased myself as well. Inside my shy girl I discovered a mature, powerful woman who was proud of her sexuality. We both took away lots of gifts that will keep the newness alive”.