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The Art of the Kiss

I received some email concerning kissing. People want to know what makes a good kisser. As with everything else, taste is different and everyone has his own kissing style. I can tell you, however, what most woman who study with me like, myself included.

Most women at the beginning of foreplay love having men look into their eyes and show their attraction and longing to “take them”, yet also appreciate a man who takes time to gently kiss the woman’s lips gradually, increasing the intensity by sucking them one at the time and even both together. Most women don’t enjoy having lovers stick a tongue in their mouth without having given them a chance to wet their own lips in response to that longing . . .

Both women and men like a tongue that is not too stiff, or too loose, and a tongue that moves with confidence. It’s a real turn-on when a lover knows the art of kissing and adapts their technique to the person they are with. For instance, I don’t like the lizard-like fast flicking of the tongue, but another woman may appreciate it. You must be ready to make the change to suit your current partner.

How do you adapt? By observing and connecting with the breath of your lovers.

Often your lovers hold their breath because they don’t like something about the kiss, and they don’t know how to communicate about it. They are reticent about communicating either because they don’t know how to express it, or because they want to protect their lover’s ego. They might be in their heads figuring out what to do. However, by not communicating, they sabotage a possibly amazing sensuous relationship… and the pain of a relationship ending is most often worse than the risk you run when you communicate what you want and gently guide your lovers to give it to you, thanking them all the way for approaching what you want.

The worst kiss I ever received had his saliva was dripping out of my mouth like it would from a dog salivating. Having to wipe myself off was a huge turn off.

The best kiss I ever had lasted a long time, and my lover and I were alternating looking in each other’s eyes and seeing the hot facial expression of our lover, and closing our eyes to integrate that passion.

What is your favorite way of kissing?

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