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Should You Fake Your Orgasms?

Woman lying in bed
Last year on the Fourth of July, I had an experience that I never had before. I stood right under fireworks that exploded right above me. While my eyes were taking in the incredible beauty of the show I was feeling the explosions in my heart. The explosions reminded me of a fantastic, romantic night I spent the weekend before. I felt little bursts of pleasure in all the cells of my body…

It was awesome. I was feeling so energized and excited that I skipped all the way home.

However, I want you to know that sometimes orgasms can be quiet and very deep. At other times, you know you are not able to have an orgasm at all. Women sometimes feel that they have to fake an orgasm with high sounds and fast breathing in order not to disappoint their lovers. Men who might know about explosive orgasms might measure their own ability as lovers, by a woman’s ability to have explosive orgasms.

What would you do then? You might ask yourself, “should I fake it or not?

Hopefully, you will trust your partner enough to tell him: “Honey, you know what a great lover you are and I think you are realty hot, but tonight I think I’m not able to let go.” or something similar that is true for you. This will save his “sexual self-esteem” and open up to him in your vulnerability, which is very attractive to men. Most men in that case would love to cuddle and kiss you until you relax, perhaps into a real orgasm.

When you fake it, you feel a lack of integrity and you may sabotage the relationship. You might have noticed that after you have an orgasm you feel elated and energetic. But after you fake one you feel depressed and tired. Sometimes, instead you may want to force an orgasm to end a sexual encounter. Instead a better choice may be to tell your partner the truth about your feeling of having enough (for now) and offer to give him a great an orgasm using your other talents.

Faking and forcing orgasms is not what you want to do to nurture your relationship. You might even unconsously avoid the next sexual encounter, which can really damage your relationship.

Regrettably, there are also women who actually are too wounded to have orgasm. But that is a topic for another post.


{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Wilma Online November 6, 2009, 1:54 am

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