How would you handle this situation?
Your girlfriend came to your appointment late because she stopped to talk to her x-boyfriend. Two things here have to be considered. One, she’s late; two, she stopped to speak to her x-boyfriend with whom she said has no longer contact.
You read her language: calm movements, soft relaxed facial expression and “knew” everything was OK. You say: “I’m glad you are here” and give her a big hug and a kiss.
She is elated that you trusted her enough not to want to know the smaller details of her delay. She was extremely grateful. Her feeling of gratitude started to spread in her body as a waive-like bubbling flow that transformed into more love. Her heart opened more fully, her smile a beautiful rose in bloom.
You express your upset that she’s late, as usual, and then say: “Why did you stop to speak to your ex-boyfriend? What was is so important about it? You know I hate when you are late…. I thought you had completion with him. You declared it yesterday! How can I trust you?”
She starts defending by attacking youfor being controlling and… This was the beginning of a long fight that became increasingly vicious. The wonderful evening you had imagined and planned for turned into a disaster.
It’s not difficult to guess what scenario resulted in a great evening!
Tantra teaches that when a woman’s heart opens her sexual energy opens as well. When there is chemistry between a man and a woman love wants to express itself both with a soft and sexy look and body language that clearly expresses invitation to go deeper into intimacy. A smart man who loves her knows how to respond to such ebullient offer.
Take a moment to ask yourself what your habitual response to something unpleasant is. What scenario do you usually choose when something interferes with your plans? Can you keep your heart open enough to read each other’s body language before you attack?
Tantra teaches fast and easy techniques how to shift from upset to relaxed. Making love does not start in bed!