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Gentle Sexiness Before Bed

Falling asleep in pleasure opens the body/mind/emotions to healing.

Healing means becoming whole. Healing happens when we are in pleasure. When we connect with ourselves or with our lover in pleasure, we integrate the sometimes incomplete, unfinished experience with our higher mind. When that integration happens, the knowledge of what we have learned and experienced is transmitted to every cell of the body and we heal on a cellular level.

However, on some days a traumatic experience such as a betrayal or abandonment might have happened that is so powerful that it cannot be fully integrated when it happens. The rational mind cannot deal with that alone. In fact, often a powerful experience actually stirs up additional previous betrayals or abandonment experiences that you did not fully integrate when they happened the first time.

When we fall asleep in pleasure, the rational mind is satisfied and relaxed just enough that previous unintegrated hurtful experiences can come up from the mental storage we send them to when we are not safe enough to feel them yet, and now they can be dealt with in our dreams. When you fall asleep in pleasure, healing can happens whether you remember your dreams or not.

In dreams, the walls of time we have created are collapsed and we can go back to even preverbal times when we used our own intimate form of proto-language. An example of this type of personal self communication (proto language) could be described as the preverbal sounds gestures or drawings that children use to express themselves and create during play. They use it to create connections that fulfill the mind’s need for integration to contextualize emotions and experiences that arise during the day.

These types of proto languages are also at the basis of art therapy.

For instance, if children see their parents fighting they might react emotionally using a form of proto language. Dreams can also use this and the symbolic language of the collective unconscious, which Carl Jung made us aware of.

That is why it is important to go to bed relaxed, having dealt with your day as best as you can. Taking a shower, communicating with your lover if something is left unexpressed, drinking water so the body can be functioning smoothly during the night, all of this contributes to preparing the space for sleep to be fully refreshing and healing.

Tantra, the art and science of conscious living and loving, suggests that before going to bed we also connect with our sex center. After communicating and soul gazing with your lover, it’s good to honor each other genitals, which can be lingam or yoni massage with your hands or with your mouth (kissing) or just gently touching each other’s bodies.

If you are alone, make love to yourself or do a Mudra, which is: place one hand on your genitals and one on your heart, thus establishing the connection between pleasure and love, the greatest healer of all.

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Hari November 3, 2008, 4:36 am

    I feel to sex with my lover , she too but no atmosphere to do

  • John September 26, 2010, 12:09 am

    What do you mean by “water touch” ?

  • CarlaTara October 2, 2010, 12:47 am

    Thank you for asking. The water touch is more fluid and continuous than the usual soft “fire touch” usually given by using the finger tips and titillating some areas of the body.

    The water touch is usually given using the full hand: palm, and fingers equally.
    Like water, it does not skip anything. It touches every nooks and crannies of the body and is both calming and opening to deeper areas of intimacy. The woman never gets tired of the water touch if given at different depth. Ask your woman how she likes it. Many complain that the too soft finger-tip touch makes them ticklish.