What would your life be like if you had the confidence that you admire (and sometimes perhaps envy) in other women who are attracting the life they want?
In my work with hundreds of clients, I have witnessed that everyone has the ability to be successful both in love and in attracting money.
One of the major causes of your unhappiness are the blocks that are still covering up the infinite possibilities that life wants to offer you – and that you can access simply by learning to remove the blocks that keep you stuck in your smallness.
It takes confidence in the core of your being to trust that life is not treating you
especially bad and others good, but life, like light, wants to enter into all of us. However, life, like light, does not remove the shade or clouds that cover up your greatness. You have to do it.
I remember Jayne. She thought she had dealt with the issue of shame during five years of psychotherapy, and she was complaining that her life had not changed. “Nothing works!”, she said with, expecting me to convince her of the opposite. But what I did or said didn’t matter, if she kept putting energy into disbelief. If she continues affirming that nothing works, life will make her right, and nothing will change.
Working with the resistance to change is a very important step. So, let’s look at the origin of shame. Where does shame about our bodies and our sexuality come from?
Babies have confidence. Confidence is innate.
When you were a baby you were shameless and c0nfident. If you needed something, you screamed until you got it – without being embarrassed about making noise or a scene.
In the same way, you were touching and loving your whole body, and just enjoying the pleasure and self-love.
And then one day, someone told you not to. That is usually the first shaming
experience. When we are told with words or actions that our own body is dirty or shameful in some way, and without even undestanding why as a child, we start to change our behavior.
Why should be touching any part of your body be forbidden? Life chose to give birth to all of us through that part of your body. It should be honored, not forbidden.
But as a young child, you know parents know something you do not know; is touching “down there” dangerous? If fact, when a baby is told not to touch the stove, and she or he or she does they end up feeling pain, and confirming that parents are right. Our caretakers – parents, relatives, teachers, coaches – are supposed to warn us what is dangerous and what is safe. But sometimes, they pass on their own guilt and shame instead.
So you tried to ignore your instinct to touch yourself, but nature is stronger, and you do touch yourself “down there”(often not even a name is given to the sexual organs) and then you started feeling bad, because you were going against what the grown-ups had taught you. That might be your first experience of shame. More usually follow the first one.
And now, you have connected pleasure with shame.
Perhaps you were the subject of abuse. More women have been abused sexually than we imagine. Reading recent news on how abuse has been perpetrated to women by ignorant men is enough to turn my stomach.
This kind of contact, even at a very young age, can leave a lasting mark of shame, guilt, and fear that can block us from the full, open expression of our sexuality and our voice – being able to speak up with confidence about what we want, and what we don’t want too!
If you’ve experienced this kind of frustration and maybe even a sense of powerlessness around sex and the beauty of your own body, I invite you to join me for my next women-only workshop: Healing – From Shame to Confidence
This workshop is for you if you want to start experiencing deep confidence in who you are. In this workshop, you will:
- Learn to transmute shame and guilt into power and love;
- Discover how both guilt and shame that the perpetrator was hiding – probably even from himself – during the abusive act has penetrate the woman being abused;
- Discover how anger can cover up both guilt and shame;
- Acknowledge the damaging effects of shame around deserving the best in life and in our career;
- Notice what part of your body reveals hidden shame.
In my workshop we will also talk about:
- How to remove the shades representing your limiting beliefs probably absorbed in childhood or later in school.
- Anger at yourself for not having been able to do so.
- Taking a real look at the damage cause by envying others.
- Not paying attention to what you can be grateful for.
- How to be constant in the awareness of your limiting beliefs and calmly replace them until they stick.
I keep the number of attendance small group so each one of you will get lots of
attention. Please register as soon as possible.