Why is it so difficult for most couples to retain the level of passion they desire?
There are many reasons, and they are different for each couple. However, there is one common thread that runs through the challenges most couples face. There are two essential human needs that play a large role in this: The need for security and the need for variety. They are both important.
If we knew what would happen in life, in our relationship, in sex, all the time, we might like it at first, but then it’s likely that we would become bored. A key component of desire is anticipation and surprise. Desire is the fire that makes passion burn stronger. Air and space are essential to feed any fire. In relationship terms, when the relationship is new, and you are not living together, the expectation for the next encounter keeps the desire high. [click to continue…]
A sexually hot relationship is very often the answer to many marital problems.
Most relationship problems stem from a deterioration of sexual interest in each other while sex was very high priority on your list.
Why? When you just met you usually project all the best qualities to you partner and lovemaking is spontaneous. You see her as the best thing that ever happened to you. She is a Goddess and you feel lucky that she is in your life. The man you fell in love with is God-like and perfect. Intuitively you give each other what you need and want. Communication is flowing and entertaining.
Does this sound familiar to you? [click to continue…]
Most men marry a woman in the hope she will not change and, regrettably, most women marry a man in the hope they can change him.
What does this mean in terms of the direction the marriage will take?
When people fall in love they can only see the positive in each other.
Men fall in love with the smile, the creativity, the spontaneity and sexiness of the woman. The smile is the first thing that attracts them. Her smile tells him that she’s happy being with him, that she finds him sexy and safe to be with. Her smile gives him clues of what she really likes. [click to continue…]
The past several months have been a very stressful time for many. At times like this, when many are feeling vulnerable or worried, it’s important to remember that real security comes from within.
When the world around you is changing and rearranging, it is a good time to evaluate what is important to you.
One question that can help you transform from worry to trust and security and creating high vibration in your body is:
“What would your life be like if you let go of all the ways you’ve been sabotaging your joy, freedom, fulfilled relationships, financial success, health and peace?“
Take a moment to live in the vision of that reality. It’s a very powerful question. Feel how different your life could be.
Now, how do you get there? [click to continue…]
The most damaging emotion to choke up your sexuality is shame. Shame remains often hidden even after years of psychotherapy. Who wants to look inward when what’s staring back is a painful emotion that makes us feel unworthy and unlovable?
Many have managed to suppress this pervasive feeling of unworthiness and cover it up with perfectionism, hiding out or even shaming others in order to feel some relief from this pervasive damaging emotion. Some people who have been wounded with shaming develop eating disorders and addictions of all kinds.
Jungian analysts call shame “the swampland of the soul”.
Shame has an overwhelming influence in all sectors of life, especially in your financial and love life. You do not feel loveable and you cannot fully open up to love another. [click to continue…]
People say you can’t read someone else’s mind. Each one of us has a different map of relationships and emotions and thoughts in our heads that can be as different as the maps of different countries.
But there is another side to this story. We know that the mind is intrinsically connected with the body. In fact, body language is clearer and often more honest that communication using words. And this can be even truer in intimate relationships. [click to continue…]
Longer orgasms and reverence for each other is a winning combination in Tantra. Why?
Seeing your lover as a divinity inspires you to really focus on tantric techniques to bring more pleasure to each other for a longer time, which will result in longer orgasms.
Reverence is a mental attitude that turns you on.
Imagine a Goddess materializing in front of you with all the sensuous beauty and splendor you can imagine; wouldn’t you be completely taken by her?
Wouldn’t you bring your lovemaking to a different level when this Goddess wants to make love with you? [click to continue…]
Tantra teaches that love seeks expression through our bodies. Love is our essence, our Soul. From time to time, we might have glimpses of our soul; however, we resist experiencing it fully. We do not trust love. We want to feel it, but we also are afraid of it. This creates the most basic human struggle, our most essential tension between love and fear. [click to continue…]
Kama Sutra translates to “love verses”… perhaps because certain positions are as expressive as poetry.
The Kama Sutra can be daunting; steeped in all that history and known by many new to it as ‘those crazy pretzel-like sex positions”. But the Kama Sutra can be simplified for non yogic couples.
The following are some simplified Kama Sutra Positions for the modern, non yogic couples. [click to continue…]
A woman in her 30’s came to see me because she wanted help in finding someone special in her life. Perhaps Tantra would help?
She had the right idea. Tantra helps because it requires self-love before you can really merge into love with another.
However, when I started talking about self-love she got really upset. “How can you do it? I hate my looks and I hate my stubbornness. I thought you could teach me some Tantric tricks so I can win him over.”
Tantric techniques only work well when you come from self-love. Because, they are not actually tricks. You cannot trick anyone, really. [click to continue…]